Guest Blog

I talked to my mom earlier tonight and she told me she had written a blog. However, she does not have a blog of her own, so she said she had written a "guest blog" for me to put on my blog. I have to say, she's pretty good at this whole blogging thing. I hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks Mom for sharing your thoughts. Here it is:

Spring Break – I know most people look forward to spring break with great anticipation, either as a time of rest or a chance to let off steam and have fun. For me, it is something to be endured. I am restless, with millions of things I want to do, only to find that I do almost nothing, and breathe a sigh of relief when I can get back to my kids at school. Therefore, I become reflective. Many of the young people I know are facing difficult situations now. Some are joyful, some sad or challenging, some even frightening. Change (good or bad) is always difficult.
My mom’s favorite Bible verse was from Philippians, something about being content no matter what state you are in. It is mine, too. Ironic, considering that neither of us achieved a continuing state of contentment. I guess it’s a favorite verse because it’s such a worthy goal, as well as the only way to be truly happy.
There is a country song on the radio that I love. The refrain says that “you will miss these days,” no matter how difficult they may seem at the time. There is always something wonderful, but sometimes we don’t see it. I remember so well the feelings of jealousy when my classmates did fun, exciting things with their families, only to realize later that I had the most secure childhood. I remember falling in love with a real jerk, and how fortunate I was that it didn’t work out, especially when I met and married the best man in the world a few months later. I think of the days before the kids arrived, and remember how much fun Dennis and I had decorating our little house, pinching pennies, and becoming a couple. Those days were precious, and I hate that I wasted one second wishing for more than God chose to give me at that time. Later, I wanted so badly to get pregnant. It was anguishing to attend baby showers or hear stories of child abuse on the news. Now, I know that I would not trade my two babies for any others in the world, no matter where they came from. Much later, I remember supper at a restaurant with my Dad, Dennis, Jason, and Jamie. We were having a good time until a family nearby started singing happy birthday to their grandmother. I immediately felt such despair, having lost my mom in my early 30’s. How could I know that a short year later, I would once again sit in the same restaurant, with the same people, minus my precious son? Losing my mom was hard, but she had lived a long, productive, often painful life. I should have thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated the loved ones I still had.
I do not have the answers to sadness or discontent. I do know what helped me survive. When my mom died, I started taking my little ones to visit her friends. Suddenly, I found there were many surrogate grandparents. When Jason died, I became determined to be the best mom possible to Jamie, hoping to forget all past mistakes. I even “adopted” an entire family that needed my help. I am a much better teacher now that I have the perspective that comes from suffering a great loss. One of the greatest gifts in life is perspective, and it never comes easily.
Another favorite song of mine has a line about a “glorious sadness.” It always reminds me of a much adored friend who died from cancer. As you grow older, you realize that even sadness can be glorious, because it keeps your love alive. But you must do something positive with it. Appreciate the family and friends you have. Forgive the loved ones who offend you. They didn’t do it on purpose, and maybe your pain made you misunderstand their intentions. Find people who need you and reach out to help them. Enjoy the wonderful things in your state of life, and trust that our heavenly Father does know best.
Love to all, Jamie’s Mom